If
The only thing that can get me over my hatred of exercise must surely be kink
Tag: self-image
Heart of the matter
Thoughts and pictures of lockdown chubbiness
Impulse Control
inscribed with desire my old sins cast long shadows bound, to keep the peace Original photo by the brilliant Stuart…
Battle Dress
This coming week will be a tough one. Thankfully, I was able to spend the weekend hanging out with The…
Handles
The woman in the mirror is frowning, brow creased and biting her bottom lip. A quarter-turn to the left, then to the right, appraising with a critical eye. I look up and meet my own eyes, counter the expression of anxious self-doubt with a wry roll. Let my tummy relax from its tense, defensive, held-in stance. Allow the truth to seep in and expand before me. I may never regain the smooth flat planes of my teenage shape. A sigh.
Incel
The phrase “involuntarily celibate” has great resonance for me. For a while in my life, I was celibate, and not by choice
“Incel stands for ‘involuntarily celibate’ which basically means “someone who isn’t getting laid because other people are denying them’ with the implication that those people shouldn’t be allowed to refuse. The idea that there should be equal distribution of sexual activity between all people seems very ‘Brave New World’ to me; and not in a good way but setting the entitlement issues aside; the phrase “involuntarily celibate” has great resonance for me. For a while in my life, I was celibate, and not by choice. I was in a long-term relationship with a man I loved very much. He was kind, intelligent, funny, handsome, independent, quirky and a completely fucking awesome cook. He adored me and showed it in many many ways. Except the one I wanted most.
2019 resolution
CW: fatphobia, disordered eating. I wrote this to help myself crystallise my thinking about the topic, and to understand my…