When I saw the details of October’s Sinful Sunday prompt, I recoiled! What?! Let someone else see an unedited picture of me? Entrust them with editing away all the bits that I don’t like and enhancing the bits that soothe my vanity rather than agitating my insecurities? Hell fucking no! I even wrote a thread about why I was noping out.
And then my lovely friend Little Switch Bitch gave me loads of reassurance and offered to edit a pic for me. Gulp. I took the plunge – careful to offer a photo that didn’t scare me too much in its original form.
Don’t you think she did a stunning job? I do. I love how she has used shadowing to bring out the details of the chain, and enhance my brown skin (which I usually lighten for contrast, nothing to do with internalised racism, oh no, surely not…).
I’m massively grateful to LSB for reminding me that we all have body hangups which look worse to us than they do to others, and giving me the confidence to place my unfiltered pics into her skilful hands.
My editing always involves a lot of airbrushing and smoothing to soothe my hang ups about skin blemishes and freak hairs – it comes out as an idealised view of myself, which is why it kinda feels like ‘cheating’ to pretend it’s what I really look like.
I feel like I’ve made a tiny increment of progress in my own body positivity thanks to this challenge. Thanks again to LSB for your patience and kindness, and to Molly for prompting me into this little journey.