#Pervember Joker: Toys

Another joker! Prompt #10 is ‘Daddy Kink’ and that’s not one that floats my [lone] boat[man] (fnar), so I’m taking another substitution. Maybe one day I’ll be able to write convincingly about things that aren’t in my own kink gallery, but right now I’m having too much fun writing about things that are.

So. Toys.

I’ve written about my toy collection before, but it’s grown since then….!

I now have:

• lockable leather ankle and wrist cuffs
• a spreader bar
• nipple/clit tweezer clamps joined with chains
• a chunky badboy of a Beetlejuice ceramic dildo (it’s black-and-white-striped like a cartoon Frenchman’s jumper, so I’ve christened* it ‘Monsieur Jean-Luc’)

*yes, in that sense too

These days, the NuSensuelle Remote Control Bullet has taken over the WeVibe Rave’s position as Favourite Toy. I still love the Rave, but the NS bullet is more discreet, quicker to charge, doesn’t require fiddling with buttons and fits in my knickers.

I’m very excited about the spreader bar, having always wanted one (thanks to the Mr – it was a birthday present!). There’s something so…..mmmfffff…..about having my ankles held apart. Also, if I my home ever gets broken into, it’ll make a pretty good blunt instrument for self-defence*.

*kidding. I’d run like a chicken and hide like a tortoise in that scenario.

The possibilities of technology and sexual pleasure are both exciting and worrying – I know from my vanilla job that new tech is never properly tested for security or privacy risks. Buying body-safe is extremely important – and so is buying data-safe. WeVibe learned their lesson the hard way and now their app is locked-down with robust privacy settings with a back-end design that prevents usage data from being associated with any kind of identifiers. However, in my experience, the hard way is the only way that most businesses learn and in the rush to make everything ‘smart’ and internet-connected so that profiling data can be grabbed from as many places as possible, most are ignoring fundamentals of privacy and security by design. So I don’t have a lot of connected sextech yet. I’d rather wait until standards for protection of the individual user – from malicious hackers, from unintentional consequences and from the rapaciously expoitative data broker industry – are higher and better-enforced. I prefer to know who’s fucking [with] me and when it’s happening!