The Nice Guy Quiz

I’m sure most men like to think they are Nice Guys. I’m sure many men try to behave like Nice Guys. I also know that a lot of men* often behave like Bad Guys – sometimes without realising it, sometimes because they think their pursuit of sexual gratification entitles them to do so.

*#notallmen yadda yadda

So I made a quiz. Think you’re a Nice Guy? Find out today!

(I realise this quiz is focused on heterosexual relationships – that’s not to say that man/man or woman/woman relationships don’t have the same issues, but my writing comes from my experience and I personally have not seen or heard these issues crop up anywhere near as depressingly often as I have in man/woman relationships. Don’t @ me)

The Quiz

1. You compliment a woman on her appearance. She mutters “thanks” without making eye contact and moves away from you at the first opportunity

Do you:

  • C: Take the hint and divert your attention elsewhere
  • A: Follow her and attempt to engage her in conversation – you’re just trying to be nice
  • B: Mutter/yell “Bitch, I wouldn’t fuck you anyway” at her departing back. That’ll show her, ungrateful cow

2. You’ve had a first date and it seemed to be going well. You offer to pay for dinner but she insists on going halves on the bill. Do you feel:

  • A: Cheated – now she won’t owe you sex
  • B: Slightly affronted – she’s pissed all over your demonstration of chivalrous male prerogative
  • C: Perfectly happy to split the bill

3. A female friend of yours tells you that she has been sexually assaulted in the past. Do you say

  • B: I would never do something like that, not all men
  • C: I’m really sorry to hear that- would you like a sympathetic ear?
  • A: Are you sure you didn’t just misinterpret his actions? Lots of these stories are false accusations, you know.

4. You meet a girl in a club and get on well but by the end of the evening she is clearly utterly wankered, can’t form a sentence or stand up without falling over. You really fancy her.

Do you

  • A: Take her back to yours and have sex with her. She obviously wanted it earlier in the evening
  • B: Tuck a piece of paper with your number into her pocket and walk away hoping she will call
  • C: Try and find her friends to help her get home/as a last resort, let her crash at yours while you stay ON THE SOFA KEEPING YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF

5. You are passed over for a promotion at work and the job goes to a woman who has the required qualifications and experience. Do you

  • C: Get right to work on polishing your skills and knowledge so that next time you are the best candidate
  • B: Assume she only got the job because of diversity tokenism
  • A: Quit in disgust because obviously ‘PC gone mad’ means there’s no way that you’ll ever be given a fair chance at this organisation.

What your answers say about you

Cs: You are genuinely behaving like a Nice Guy. Keep it up, thanks.

Bs: Yeeeaaahhh….you might think your heart is in the right place but your attitude to women is highly suspect. Even though you don’t act aggressively, you seem to have problems viewing or treating women with respect and care. Work on that wouldya?

As: You are one of the Bad Guys. If you didn’t realise this, here’s your wake-up call, please seek intervention before your attitude gets you into dreadful trouble. Seriously. No joke.

3 thoughts on “The Nice Guy Quiz

  1. I haven’t had all these scenarios, though not all options are what I’d go with. #1 I wouldn’t start off with her appearance. Even if I were that shallow, it’s a stupid way to open because she probably gets that all the time. #3 seems the first question should be if she’s safe from him presently, do authorities need to be involved? #4 try to find her friends, though if they up and disappeared on her, they may not be such a great option themselves. #5 hasn’t happened to me, but I think this is the dumbest of male face-palmers. Not any nice-guy PC thing, I’ve had female professors who worked at NASA JPL who were much smarter than I am, not even close. And in my ultra-running I routinely get my butt kicked by girls. My first failed attempt at an ultra, I didn’t just get beat, I literally got lapped by Kaci Lickteig. And those laps were about 10 miles. She was 10 MILES ahead of me!

      1. Being a decent human being shouldn’t be something at is thank-worthy, should it? It is kinda sad. And Urban Meyer just got a slap on the wrist. So the world still disappoints.

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